Labels will Kill you

Labels will Kill you

I should have figured this out when I was a waitress at sixteen.

Labels will kill you. With each label you allow people to put on you, come expectations.

You no longer are you. You are expected to be what the label commands 24/7 for the rest of your life. Then you must eventually be everything for everybody. I heard a small child call out "Gramma" in a parking lot and six woman turned to see who was calling them.

With each label, Wife, Mother, Gramma, Great Gramma, you have another role to play. People forget your name. People forget you are an individual first. People forget everything but what you should be and do for them.

If you don't believe me, listen to the tone. It sounds like "help me", I need help. The tone most often ends in a question. Men use other things than wife, like dear, love, hon, but it is all the same. "I need something" I usually address my husband by his name. Soon you will forget that you even have a name. Hmmm, let's see, what is my name?

If you don't believe me, start doing this: When someone calls you Mom for instance, say back to them, Yes? Daughter Amy? ( whatever is appropriate) That will remind them of their responsibility to you as in respect and duties. I will guarantee you, they will NOT like it.

OR, start telling people to use your name and not a label. See if you can regain your true identity. Good Luck!

Kesti

April 19, 2007