'PAIN'

'PAIN'

My pain seems to have

a life of its own.

Sometimes lying in wait

Hiding...only to burst forth

in fury gone rampant.

I try to hide too.

To pretend the pain

Is happening

to someone else.

I think that is

when I pass out

And wake up exhausted.

This pain is creative.

Sometimes deep and gnawing.

Sometimes sharp and clawing.

It stands me on my toes

And pulls me to my knees

in as many seconds.

Sometimes it is so still

I think it is gone.

I tiptoe around

so as not to wake it...

daring to feel a little

glee at the possibility

that I will never

have to feel it again.

Then...as if angry that I

can even think such a thing...

it lashes out

and bends me over in tears.

How dare it? Ha ha ha..

It dares!

It has no sympathy...

no remorse...only vengeance.

I try to kill it

and it seems to know.

I try ice..heat and ice...

herbs...manipulation...

no..not drugs...

I won't let it beat me

into that submission.

I am at war.

Some say this pain

is from the anger

I have held inside.

That makes me angry.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

Do they mean the anger

I have because of betrayal?

Or perhaps the anger

from lies told to me?

Of Usury?

I could go on and on...

but it makes me too angry.

I would rather

be angry at this pain...

because the pain

will come out in the open

and fight...when it hides

we both know

it is planning its next battle..

there is no pretense on its part.

It dares hit me

when I am looking....

It dares hurt me

and laughs in my face..

it admits it wants to kill me.

That is why I will win...

because I KNOW you are evil..

Pain

I know what you are up to.

You are a mighty force.

I am mightier.

I will bitch slap you.

I will laugh in your face

when I am stronger.

I will kick your ass..

and not feel guilty.

I will rip out your burning tongue

and walk on it.

I will cut you into a million pieces.

Once I kill you I will dare you to come

back and taunt me again.

PAIN...You have

MET YOUR MATCH...

FUCK YOU!!!

Kesti©

April 1, 2002